Me- A budding counsellor?
Most people with whom I spend sufficient time tend to think of me as a very good listener,this trait maybe matching well with my spectator status.People have been able to pour out stories about all their triumphs,insecurities and frustrations and romantic interests to me.Though I cant say if the fairer sex would conform to this view considering the lack of oppurtunity I have had of interacting with them.I dont know who is losing out more by this forced detachment-them or me.
Anyway lately I had started taking note of the average time it takes for the girl to first mention abt their boyfriend to me.Believe me it didnt take more than 3-4 mins.The mention comes quite innocently,almost casually like in the case of an anceint architectural history girl in Italy whom I was impressing with my knowledge of ancient Roman and Greek history suddenly asked me abt my profession and on hearing engineering went into an overdrive as her boyfriend was also studying engineering at Rome.Or a girl in my department who was very sympathetic to my cause but put things into perspective by telling me abt her boyfriend who was in a 'similar' position at Dublin.After the subject is mentioned the first time,I suddenly become very relaxed and become even more friendly,and consider a huge pressure having been lifted of my shoulders-the pressure to perform.
One other dodgy question is that of age.Now most of places I go,the only single people I find are young girls of 25-26 or middle aged women wanting a respite from their busy professional life.Earlier they used to ask me my age and shrunk away remarking all sorts of things from being too young to move abt on my own or marvelling at the experience that I was having at such an early age.So recently I decided to start asking them first about their age and profession and then inventing a new story depending on the situation at hand.This I learned from an Australian whom I met at a youth hostel in Vienna.For example,we met a girl who told us that she was an aspiring marketing student and hearing this he told her that he was working in McKenzie and me in BCG,and we came to know that she was recently rejected from both the companies and was fully overawed and flustered by our acheivement.We spent lots of time having an animated conversation about the state of multinational company's recruiting policy.
But I was actually talking about the confidence that I inspire in people to tell their innermost feelings to me.This can be reflected from an incident that happened while my Australian friend and I were sitting in a coffee shop and talking some philosophical shit.A south Asian woman came upto us apparantly hearing us talk in English and after being sufficiently surprised at finding an Indian engineering student studying in Lyon and touring Vienna(though I realized that the girls that I met there loved my resume),launched into her life history which made me remember the plot of movie 'Murder'.She said that her Latvian husband was married to computer and she was frustrated with lack of social acceptance in an Austrian society even after 3-4 years of stay there.Our well intented sympthies coupled with some random observations that we had made about the uptight nature of the Austrians and my Australian Jewish friend's inherent hatred of the Austrians for the crimes committed by them against Jews(he never hesitated to remark to anyone who would listen that its possible that ur grandfather shoved my grandfather in a concentration camp), made her pour her heart out to us like we were two counsellers in a Freudian land treating a patient.After giving many solutions including one of spicing up her sex life(with me half expecting the Australian to make a move in showing her how to) we told her what she wanted to listen-that if she had made her mind, she should seperate from him.
This is just one example of many occassions when a person has imposed complete trust on me.Maybe its because of my varied background that I understand people's problems and try to compare them to my own.But I must admit that I have never had a chance to do that myself.I have had interaction with many people but I remember just 1-2 instance when I was able to bare my innermost feelings in front of someone.And those are the moments I remember most.Most of the other times its like a mask that I wear which changes its faces depending on the person I am talking to.And I realize that its really difficult to find a person with whom you can share your true feelings and insecurities by shedding all inhibitions.And few though such moments and people may be,they are surely priceless and must be well cherished.It has also shown me the role that some persons play in ones life,u learn as much or even more from such experiences as you do from books, movies and other material stuff.
Anyway lately I had started taking note of the average time it takes for the girl to first mention abt their boyfriend to me.Believe me it didnt take more than 3-4 mins.The mention comes quite innocently,almost casually like in the case of an anceint architectural history girl in Italy whom I was impressing with my knowledge of ancient Roman and Greek history suddenly asked me abt my profession and on hearing engineering went into an overdrive as her boyfriend was also studying engineering at Rome.Or a girl in my department who was very sympathetic to my cause but put things into perspective by telling me abt her boyfriend who was in a 'similar' position at Dublin.After the subject is mentioned the first time,I suddenly become very relaxed and become even more friendly,and consider a huge pressure having been lifted of my shoulders-the pressure to perform.
One other dodgy question is that of age.Now most of places I go,the only single people I find are young girls of 25-26 or middle aged women wanting a respite from their busy professional life.Earlier they used to ask me my age and shrunk away remarking all sorts of things from being too young to move abt on my own or marvelling at the experience that I was having at such an early age.So recently I decided to start asking them first about their age and profession and then inventing a new story depending on the situation at hand.This I learned from an Australian whom I met at a youth hostel in Vienna.For example,we met a girl who told us that she was an aspiring marketing student and hearing this he told her that he was working in McKenzie and me in BCG,and we came to know that she was recently rejected from both the companies and was fully overawed and flustered by our acheivement.We spent lots of time having an animated conversation about the state of multinational company's recruiting policy.
But I was actually talking about the confidence that I inspire in people to tell their innermost feelings to me.This can be reflected from an incident that happened while my Australian friend and I were sitting in a coffee shop and talking some philosophical shit.A south Asian woman came upto us apparantly hearing us talk in English and after being sufficiently surprised at finding an Indian engineering student studying in Lyon and touring Vienna(though I realized that the girls that I met there loved my resume),launched into her life history which made me remember the plot of movie 'Murder'.She said that her Latvian husband was married to computer and she was frustrated with lack of social acceptance in an Austrian society even after 3-4 years of stay there.Our well intented sympthies coupled with some random observations that we had made about the uptight nature of the Austrians and my Australian Jewish friend's inherent hatred of the Austrians for the crimes committed by them against Jews(he never hesitated to remark to anyone who would listen that its possible that ur grandfather shoved my grandfather in a concentration camp), made her pour her heart out to us like we were two counsellers in a Freudian land treating a patient.After giving many solutions including one of spicing up her sex life(with me half expecting the Australian to make a move in showing her how to) we told her what she wanted to listen-that if she had made her mind, she should seperate from him.
This is just one example of many occassions when a person has imposed complete trust on me.Maybe its because of my varied background that I understand people's problems and try to compare them to my own.But I must admit that I have never had a chance to do that myself.I have had interaction with many people but I remember just 1-2 instance when I was able to bare my innermost feelings in front of someone.And those are the moments I remember most.Most of the other times its like a mask that I wear which changes its faces depending on the person I am talking to.And I realize that its really difficult to find a person with whom you can share your true feelings and insecurities by shedding all inhibitions.And few though such moments and people may be,they are surely priceless and must be well cherished.It has also shown me the role that some persons play in ones life,u learn as much or even more from such experiences as you do from books, movies and other material stuff.
posted by mithrandir | 7:32 AM
4 Comments:
Lovely, honest post. again, I am amazed at the kind of experiences you are having. Discussing a middle-aged woman's sex life with HER is supercool. :)
He he he he..Nice one dude...Ur blogs are sure getting funnier, and better. As for women confessing abt ur bfs, I guessed you picked up the trichk here in India itself, watsay? Sorry for having a minute of laughter at your expense, but just couldnt forget our chat long time ago, when you told me how frustrating it was to move with committed women. I guess its gonna change now. U seem to have become a stud.
one of your brilliant writings. You sure are going to return a changed man.
hope the moments continue and hopefully in both directions
RobertFrust::Well I too was quite surprised by the way she started talking freely about her private troubles.But perhaps she was striving to express herself and we were right ppl at right time.Language does this to you sometimes-or the lack of it.This I can vouch from personal experience considering my level of French in first few months here.
Zubin:: I remember that chat well too.And yeah I got a lot of conditioning before coming here.
And what do u mean by me getting stud?In listening to committed ppl or finding non-committed ones??
Inhas::Thanks man!!Well its these moments that define my stay here.I will just say that hope the change is for the better.
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